Sunday, September 11, 2011


Today I am writing the first post in 5 months since Bella passed...not because I haven't wanted to but because I just couldn't

Today I admit that I haven't been able to process the emotions of it all...if you have talked to me in the past 5 months I have probably told you other wise

Today I admit that I have ran...ran from the sadness ,ran from the memories, ran from the pity, ran from the little and big ways it has changed our life forever. Today I must start to learn how to deal with these things

Today I just miss her...Today is Sunday and Sundays were always our day. It was the day that I could go to the hospital and be with her without the demands of the outside world

Today I question what we are really doing with our life that is truly a testament to her life and all that she has taught us...

Today I think back to around this time last year when she was starting to come off of the ventilator, I think of those moments when she breathed on her own and how precious each breath was

Today I acknowledge that somewhere there is someone who suffers more than I and that my situation could always be worse..I know that if I could start to help others, it would in turn help me

Today I crave the touch of her skin, to cradle her in my arms and to have her little fingers clasped around mine. I want to share a song, a book and some sunshine with her today

Today I wish that others that I love could see the hands of God working in their own life and many of their own miracles unfolding before them. I wish that I could help them see how precious each minute of each day is

Today I just wish that I could slow the world down a little...I struggle to keep up these days because I just don't see the need to speed ahead

Today I am so incredibly thankful for the grace of God and knowing that He feels my pain right now

Today I need to feel, I need to talk, I need to process... I know that if I don't do these things they creep into my subconscious with flashbacks and nightmares

Today I will allow myself to I will force others to allow me to grieve

Today I know will not be the same as tomorrow or emotions and scenarios surface every day that I find myself trying to adjust to

Today is that day that every thing can change...thru prayer and God's guidance I can take all of this and use it for the better, I can start today


  1. Beautiful Bella knew the love of a wonderful mother and father. You're in my heart, sweet Telisha. May God grant you some peace today and one day allow you to remember without such deep pain.

  2. Allow yourself the time to grieve, Then allow yourself the time to heal, Once you have done these thing you will have the time to live life once more . Arabella will forever be with you . In your heart,In your mind, in your soul,and always by your side in some way. She lives on through her brother and her little cousin Knox. Losing a child is never easy . It is something that tears your heart from your chest and your faith is tested to the fullest with the loss. But Telisha the days will get better as you learn to deal with your loss and see the many blessings around you. You have a little boy who is extremely intelligent and wonderful and is also a wonderful gift from above that will hold your hand and help you get through the little things that will remind you of Arabella. Bella taught so many people so many things while here. She gave light where there was darkness, She gave other faith where there was doubt, She gave others love in so many ways. She taught that The hands of God are always upon us and he is always with us when we need to talk to him. So hand your heart ache over to Him and allow Him to fill your heart with sunshine once more so that it can shine for all to see and feel Bella through you and through what you do in the outside world.You will learn to go on in life and to share with others the beauty and wonder of Bella. Her Bells will forever ring in our hearts and yours and all that were blessed to know Bella. Our prayers will continue for you and yours. It does get better with time I promise. But there is forever a place in your heart that is just for a child that you have loss and that is ok . That special spot is a spot that you will become stronger by having. So take the time you need for you.Then and only then will you be able to let go of the pain and sorrow and begin to live again . I pray God gives you the strength to heal and to begin to really live again. I pray that you show God's light and Bell's light for all the world to see even brighter than before. And I pray for a healing heart , mind and soul. God Bless you T

  3. I think about you everyday!
    I think of Bella everyday!

  4. Thinking of Bella today. Praying for you, Telisha, Chris, and Dylan.